2012 - The year of CHANGES

We will see the new year in with my eldest daughters 10th birthday, yes she was a NYE baby!
While she is so excitied about turning 10, I have to put my 'mask' on for her sake and enjoy the day with her.
Don't get me wrong, I want to & I will enjoy the day with her and my other daughter, but it just feels so wrong doing all these things without Jaise.
He loved cake, he loved to play outside, he loved baloons and he would have LOVED to celebrate his big Sissy's 10th birthday with her!

So today I am putting some goals into place for 2012.
I am starting my letter today.
Most of you have no idea what I am talking about, but one lady who has been my rock and strength since Jaise had his accident, knows how important this particular letter is to me, my daughters, Jaise and the rest of the country.
You will all read the letter, eventually, and I know most of you will support me!

My letter will take me a while, as I am hand writing it, something no one does anymore and it will be written through many tears but this is my main goal for 2012.

I have decided to rename 2012 - to me it will be the year of CHANGES!!!!
Keep watching!!!

Cherish your life and loved ones

Christmas has come and gone for another year, my second without Jaise and this one was harder than the first without him. I have so many unanswered questions, thoughts of 'what if' 'if only' 'I should've and so on. I struggle to move on with my everyday task because I keep asking 'WHY?' WHY is my little boy in a cemetry, not here with me. I know he is not hurting anymore and has escaped the cruelty of this world but I want him here with me. I miss him, I want to see him play with his sisters again, I want to trip on his cars he leaves laying around, I want to change his nappies and look after him. To all those out there that waste their time worrying about petty issues, disputes or problems.... Stop! Life is short and once a life is gone, that's it, it's over. There is no 'reset' or 'rewind'. Before you go to bed at night think hard about your life, is it really that bad? Should you really have lashed out at that person? Did you call that person that's been on your mind just to say 'hi'? Never leave the house angry at your loved ones, kiss your children goodnight and TELL them you love them, even if they are asleep... Cause there may not be a next time.

Dont put this letter on YOUR wishlist for Christmas!!!

Instead of getiing Christmas cards in the mail this Christmas, have a look at what I got today!!
Dont put this letter on YOUR wishlist for Christmas!!!

Pictures of my Jaisey Bear

Some of my favourite

Pictures of Jaisey Bear xxx

My RANT for the day

You buy a new car - it MUST have an owners/operating manual in the glovebox & it MUST be registered!!
WHY??
Because you will be using something that has the POTENTIAL to injure or kill others if not used CORRECTLY and authorities need to know who owns/drives the vehicle.
So WHY can you go to department stores or online shops and purchase portable/inflatable pools for sometimes less than $100 and ...are NOT required to fill in a registration form at the point of purchase or given the correct brochures/booklets that will help you use it correctly??

I am passionate about these issues, if what I say upsets ANYONE it is not meant to. I say and do what I do because I care and I do NOT want any other parent to feel the pain my family and I do every second of EVERYDAY!!!

Portable pool or a coffin for Christmas ???

Media release: Portable pool or a coffin for Christmas?

by Hannah's Foundation on Friday, December 2, 2011 at 10:14am

Portable pool or a coffin for Christmas



Hannah’s Foundation Drowning Prevention, Awareness and Support charity is issuing warnings about water safety after drowning hospitalisations and fatalities and says more parents will be burying a child this Christmas if the warnings aren’t heard.



Another drowning in back yard pool sparks more warnings, the child has been rushed to hospital, the child is currently stable. A fatal toddler drowning two weeks ago in Morpeth in an unfenced backyard pool that had been purchased only two days before Little Darcy’s death. The message is strong, ALWAYS SUPERVISE SWIMMERS and CHILDREN around water. Empty the pools but always fence your pool.



“Today’s latest news of a child drowning highlights the life threatening dangers of leaving portable pools unfenced and unattended” Katherine Plint said.



“It’s really important that no matter what swimming skills you have, you can drown in an instant and water is just so unpredictable, toddlers need to be supervised with constant ‘eyes on’ always” she said.



“We urge people that if they do buy portable pools that necessary safety precautions are being taken, always Supervise the child in the water, make sure the pool is emptied and never turn your back on a child in water not even for a second”



“Last year was horrible for drownings and accidents like this are a constant reminder and this is no exception. This year we are needing the media to help with stepping up the messages so that people listen to them, because drowning does not discriminate” she said.



“Water safety and drowning prevention messages need to be ‘in your face’ so that people are constantly reminded of the imminent dangers” she said.



“In the past month Hannah’s Foundation has been able to provide support to seven families and whilst funding is very low we urge people to help support the only charity in Australia supporting families affected by drowning fatalities and injuries because our peak season is now upon us. This week alone two families need support burying their children.” she said.



“This week and the weeks ahead are just the warning signs for what is install this summer and people need to be aware of the dangers of portable pools.”



“New pool fencing laws come into effect on December 1st in Qld yet sadly in NSW and VIC those changes were not as extensive. More drownings will happen if something isn’t done.”



Kelly Taylor, mother of Jaise who drowned in a rental property last September is calling for Jaise’s Law for NSW.



Kelly Taylor said “This drowning and others like it break my heart. I can’t sit and do nothing I have to educate people on drownings and that it can take your child's life. Pools are dangerous and they must be fenced to the Australian Standards.”



She said “the pool that Jaise drowned in wasn’t safe, it had multiple breaches and was a rental property I was visiting whilst on holidays. It all happened in a matter of seconds when Jaise was being pulled from the pool”



“Jaise’s Law is being advocated to include a State Wide pool register, Adoption of the full Australian Standards and the Qld laws that abolished over 11 pieces of legislation rolling Swimming pool laws it into ONE LAW”. She said.



Mrs Taylor said “I never want another person to suffer the pain my family goes through, our thoughts are with this family today but we need the media to help us get messages constantly out there”



Andrew Plint, Founding Director said “Retailers need to be urged to take a social responsibility and not provide pathetic warnings on boxes of portable pools. They know that items can’t be sold without a fence, yet they don't take an active role in educating the consumer.”



“I would be encouraging not to buy blow up pools over Christmas because that $100 pool requires a pool fence, a council application and certification. All portable pools especially those with filtration systems, over 30cm deep and hold over 2000 litres of water must be fenced, have a council building permit and Certification by council.” He said.



“That $100 gift may cost a child their young life” Mr Plint said



“Perhaps the Federal Government should adopt similar warnings to cigarettes packets and start putting photos of those who have died or suffered an injury in an unfenced pool on these death traps”

http://www.facebook.com/notes/hannahs-foundation/media-release-portable-pool-or-a-coffin-for-christmas/10150989978560015

If you think our messages about water safety are harsh - then read this!!

Hannah's Foundation released a media statement last friday after yet ANOTHER drowning in a blow up/portable pool.

 

Some people claimed the headline,Portable pool or a coffin for Christmas  was too 'Harsh'.

Sadly, thats the reality though if adults do NOT supervise correctly and/or put fencing around these pools.

For those of you that think the headline was too 'Harsh' maybe read this:

 

Once Jaise was officially pronounced dead, we chose to donate his organs. Now it's comforting to know he saved a small child and adult but let me tell the world ONE thing:
At around 2pm we were told the transplant team would arrive around 7...pm to take him to theatre.
I then stayed with him, laying on his bed holding him, feeling his warm skin and watched the minutes tick by. Now I know that he saved lives but sitting on his bed with him, waiting for him to be taken to theatre was like waiting for a firing squad to execute me!!! My 3 best friends and Brett had to rip me off his bed after the staff wheeled him to the theatre door. That was the last time I saw my son as I knew him.
The next time was the morning of his funeral, in a small white coffin. He was dressed in his favourite red Thomas shirt and his special denim shorts that went below his knees. His little feet were in his Thomas shoes, that he got only 6 weeks before his death for his 2nd birthday.

I took his favourite blue dummy and placed it in his hand and placed one half of a special necklace around his neck so he knew my heart was with him always.

I then placed letters his sisters had written to him beside his cold little body, and gave him a photo of his sisters, myelf and his daddy. My Mum and Aunty also put photos and some other special things in beside him and kissed him goodbye. My friend that came with me that day, kissed him goodbye too. I could see tears welling up in her eyes, knowing she has 3 children of her own, I can only imagine how hard it was for her to be there to support me.

While I stroked his beautiful hair, and kissed his lovely lips I still could not believe MY SON was laying in this shiny white coffin, waiting to be buried.

I said goodbye, and walked out of the room backwards, so I could still see Jaise for as long as possible, because I knew this was the last time I would ever see him little face, his little hands, his beautiful hair and feel his presence, that never failed to make me smile!!!

 

THIS is the reality of NOT fencing your pool correctly!!

I do NOT want anyone else to have these memories of their child because it is terrible. You never forget seeing your child like this, and if sharing these parts of Jaise's story helps people understand the aftermath of drowning tragedy, then I will continue to share them!!

School Friends

An old school friend, who I have know for 26 years, posted this on my FaceBook wall the other day:

Hey Kel, I've just finished reading your blog. I've had the biggest cry, you are so amazingly strong to do this! I'm so sorry you and your family have been living in this nightmare for the past 14 months. I'm glad you are so determined to see that this law will become official. When I heard this morning on the news about another near toddler drowning the first thing I thought of was I hope to god you don't wake up and this is the first thing you hear. If there is anything I can ever help you with, I'm always here for you xx

My response to her post was :

Thanks for your love and support Mel x
Sadly when the alarm went off at 6 this morning, I was dozing in bed and I heard this on the news!! I could still sleep till 7.30 but once I heard that dreadful news, that's was it. My and many others... nightmare is relived over and over again each time this happens!
It just kills me!
That's why I started my blog today, so people know how Jaise came into this world, and sadly how he left us.
It's not fair and sadly the gory upsetting details need to shared to make people listen!
I have photos of Jaise in hospital, photos no parent should have, but that's how I remember his last days.
People just need to think how would they feel if their loved one was in ICU on life support, Would our safety messages still be too 'confronting' then?

 

 

I am still so shocked that people I have know for so long, and many I havent seen for years still care so much. Once you leave school you sort of go off in your own direction and loose touch with many of your friends.

I started Kindergarten with Mel, played hockey and softball with her and even went through high school together.

 

When we held the memorial in Orange for Jaise, my Uncle stopped counting at 150 people. The amount of family, friends, work mates, school friends and even strangers that turned up was amazing!!!

I cant remember everyone that came that day, it was all such a sad blur to me, but as I sit here and look back at the attendance book, I am still amazed!

 

I guess what I am trying to say is:

Going through school I wasnt popular, I was just me. I wore glasses and often felt left out. Yep I was a nerd LoL

I had a few close friends, mainly Kylie who has been by my side every since I met her in 1992 and we were silly but we had a good time.

When I left school in Year 10 to do my Traineeship I didnt realise that there were so many people out there that I went to school with that really DID care about me, untill last year. I remember seeing 6 specific faces at the Botanic Gardens that day, and I remember thinking to myself 'wow they came to support me after all these years'. That was one of the most comforting things to me that day.

To those people, you know who you are, I thank you so much for coming to support myself and my children and Jaise's dad.

Although we dont see each other often, your kindness will always remain close to my heart.

 

Media Release from Hannah's Foundation - Jaise's Law

Mothers fight to change laws – Jaise’s Law

Hannah’sFoundation – Australia’s only Drowning Prevention, Awareness and Support charity says many families are now joining their media campaign to help stop drownings and raise awareness. Kelly Taylor continues to fight for changes in NSW for Jaise’s Law.
changes for Jaise’s law are basic Amendments changes to Legislation, they are:
Residential Tenancies Act 2010
1 That the NSW Parliament introduce a legislative change to Division 5, Section 62 to include Swimming Pools/Spas as an urgent and immediate emergency repair. (Comment: In the circumstance that Landlords/Agents do not fix the pool and council has ordered a non compliance certificate on the property that this action will also give the tenant sufficient grounds under the Act to terminate their lease and without financial penalty.)
2. That the Act be change to include a Swimming Pool Safety Compliance Certificate as a requirement prior to lease to tenant.
3. That the Act include that any exemptions for the Swimming Pool/Spa of the Rental Property be removed for new tenants.
4. That all rental properties have FOUR SIDED FENCING and that all pools/spas be compliant to Australian Standards 1926.1.
5. Specific penalties for non compliance on behalf of agents/landlords.
Swimming Pools Act 1992
1. The removal of self closing doors to form part of barrier,

1. the adoption of the Australian Standards 1926.1, IN FULL
2. the adoption of legislation mirroring Qld Development Code, Mandatory Provisions 3.4 (comment: In many cases QDC MP3.4 has expanded to provide greater protection than that listed in Australian Standards, example; non climbable zones in the upper 900mm quadrant with provisions that a child cannot gain access. The use of canals/rivers/lakes/streams can form part of barrier)
3. that all pools have FOUR SIDED fencing,
4. Development of a State wide Pool Register
5. Development of a Swimming Pool Safety Inspector training course
6. The introduction of a Mandatory inspection regime triggered by sale/lease of properties in the first instance for shared/non shared pools
7. Shared pools (accommodation complex, motels, hotels) every 12 months
8. Non shared pools, stand alone residential if not sold/lease every two years, Resort pools (swimming pool, management plans) every 12 months.
9. Mandatory reporting of immersion events of children

If you support Jaise’s Law in NSW please download a copy of our letter to all Members of Parliament and sign the supporting document and lodge it with your Local NSW State Member of Parliament. The more support we can have for simple changes to legislation the sooner Drowning statistics in NSW will decrease. Rental Properties equate for over 91% of drowning in Rental properties.
Please support Jaise’s Law.
“If these changes were made, we believe, along with Mrs Taylor and all the other parents who have had children drown or suffer immersions in Rental properties that lives could be saved. These little lives lost are people not numbers and something should be done and now.” Katherine Plint, Executive Officer said.
About Hannah’s Foundation
Hannah’s Foundation is the only dedicated drowning support charity supporting all families touched by tragedies in water in Australia.
Among its many aims are:

• educating children about personal water safety;
• designing and implementing a National Rural Swimming Program;
• providing financial assistance to parents who have lost children to drowning or suffer
  injuries;
• providing counselling to family members who have lost loved ones to drowning;
• provide assistance to those who are injured in Water Activities and live with
  disabilities;
• lobbying to legislate financial penalties for those who sell non-compliant pools,
  including real estate agents;
• raising awareness of drownings and near-drownings in Australia in the media; and
• National Drowning Prevention, Awareness and Memorial Day October every year

For donations to Hannah’s Foundation
BSB
Number – 704 052 Account Number – 1035885 or online at www.givenow.com.au/hannahsfoundation
ISSUED at 7^th November 2011 by Founding Director Andrew Plint
For comment please phone (07) 5465 2000http://hannahsfoundationappeals.org.au/news/

Jaise's Story

On Sunday August 3^rd 2008, Jaise Michael Taylor entered the world.

He was in a hurry to enter this world, arriving almost 5 weeks early and spent the first week of his life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at John Hunter Hospital, Newcastle. Jaise had difficulties breathing from birth, due to some medication I was prescribed during pregnancy to help with severe migraines.

He was born a fighter and overcome lots of hurdles in the first 18 months of his life, which included Benign Sleep Myoclonus, severe reflux and a chest infection at 5 months that saw him hospitalised for over 8 days. I became very protective of my little ‘Bear’ because he was often sick and at the hospital, but he always made me proud. I have photos of him when he was in hospital at 5 months of age, so sick he could hardly move, but he still managed a smile.

In early 2010 Jaise had trouble breathing and was rushed to Redcliffe Hospital 2 occasions where he was hospitalised due to severe asthma attacks.

At the age of 2 years, just days after his 2nd birthday, he was officially diagnosed as an asthmatic and placed on a preventative, which made the world of difference to his breathing. I would still have to give him a dose of Ventolin via his nebuliser every night, often a few times a night if he had a cold or was sick. At first he didn’t like the nightly routine of all his medications but after a while, he got the hang of it and eventually insisted that ‘Nannie do, Nannie do’ the administering of his medication when she was staying with us for a few months earlier this year.

Even when our little ’Bear’ was sick, he still managed a smile and always hugged us tight.

 
Over the past 2 years Jaise grew to become a loving, happy go lucky boy who was always full of smiles and lots of energy to match.

He would walk into a room and his dimples, smile and little voice would melt any heart.

One of his favourite toys were his cars. He used to play matchbox cars, read car magazines, watch Roary the Racing Car and make ‘broooom broooom’ noises all the time.

If it wasn’t cars, it was trains. He loved watching Chuggington and wore his Thomas the Tank Engine thongs that he got for his 2^nd Birthday all the time.

He was so obsessed with these toys he would often called out to me in the night and when I would sneak into his room, he would look up and ask ‘car Mummy?’ so I would get him a car and he would reply ‘Ni Ni Mummy’.

He had lots of cute and funny sayings, just to name a few:

Cookies were Cookoos, Aunty Debbie was Dare, Milo was Myno and he always wanted Kisses, in which he would run to you and yell…. Mwaaa!!!!

His oldest sister, who turns 10 in December, doted on him. She has always been such a wonderful help with her siblings. Some mornings she would come into me in bed and ask if she could get Jaise up when he wakes up.

If he needed a bottle, Tahli would help get it ready and even if he had a smelly nappy she would be there by my side or wanting to change him.

His youngest sister, turned 5 in September and she was Jaise’s best friend and partner in crime. They played cars, dolls, dress ups and enjoyed running in the backyard together everyday.

Yes they would fight, but if one of them was upset or sick, the other was never far away and ready to offer comfort.

 
 

In September 2010 we were on a trip visiting family in the Hunter Area NSW, and spent a few days at his Aunty & Uncle’s place in Anna Bay. We had spent a few days over the weekend before his accident having a quick dip in the pool at the house that they had recently rented. The swims were quick because the water temperature was still very cold, even though the days were getting warmer.

On Monday September 27^th 2010 his Aunty & Uncle went off to work and I stayed at their place with my 3 children, my niece who was 8 and my nephew who was 16.

I dropped my sister in law to work in the morning as she had let me have the car.

I went back to their place and started doing some general housework for them while they were at work.

At about 10am Jaise started to get grizzly, so I gave him a bottle and put him upstairs in his porta cot for his morning sleep. He said ‘Ni Ni Mummy’ as he always did and I went downstairs to continue cleaning and organising our trip back home to QLD.

Over the next few hours my 2 daughters and their cousin played inside and out, we had a dip in the pool and I made them a picnic morning tea to have under the back patio. I checked the pool gate was shut while I was on a phone call prior to Jaise waking up.

At around noon Jaise woke up, so I went upstairs and picked him up from his cot. He gave me the most affectionate cuddles as we walked downstairs to where the living area was.

I got him a little drink and he asked for his dodo (dummy) then I had cuddles and watched Chuggington with him.

After Jaise had a little cuddle and had fully woken up he decided he wanted to go outside and play with the girls.

My nephew was still upstairs in his room at this stage so it was just the kids and I that were downstairs.

I continued to clean and made a few phone calls to organise a rental car to drive back to QLD the following day. I had the back screen door open so the kids could come and go when the pleased and I could see them at all times.

The girls asked for something for lunch at around 12.20pm and after looking in the cupboard I suggested we get some hot chips and have lunch somewhere. All the kids thought that was a wonderful idea so I explained to them I had to close the computer down, put some washing out and wash a few dishes up quickly then we could go for a drive.

I walked inside and as I did I saw Jaise ride one of the scooters along the patio. I checked the washing but it still hadn’t finished so I put some dishes in the sink and walked into the lounge to finish up what was on the computer. It was then that I saw Jaise scoot pass the glass doors again.

My nephew yelled out from halfway down the stairs that he was ‘going to do something’ and I yelled out ‘where are you going?’ but he had already walked out the front screen door. I heard voices so I assumed his mates had come over to see him and they were heading out.

I then turned around to look for Jaise, and he was gone. Then the noise suddenly dulled and I had this sinking pitted feeling in my stomach.

I remembered hearing my nephew go out the front screen door, so I asked my eldest daughter if Jaise was near her. She replied no, so I ran out through the front screen door hoping Jasie hadn’t followed my nephew out the door. I started to hurry down the driveway, thinking he had run off somewhere, when for some unknown reason, because it was silent outside, I looked to my left and saw my 8 year old daughter pulling my two year old out of the pool by his arms.

I remember feeling like a huge wall had stopped me in my tracks; I instantly felt the pain of terror and started screaming ‘NO NO NO HELP’

I could not believe what I was seeing, my daughter was pulling him from the pool, my niece and other daughter were standing by screaming and crying.

By the time I got to my son, my daughter had him laying in the recovery position and was draining water from him. I started to tell her to call 000 but she yelled ‘Im calling 000’ and ran inside with her cousin. My 4 year old daughter, just stood at the fence and screamed, she had no idea what was going on.

I remember seeing Jaise, looking lifeless and blue. I picked him up and started to run towards the road and scream for help. My little boy was so heavy and wet and I felt hopeless.

Within no more than 30 seconds a lady came running from next door to help, my daughter had not only called 000 but also gone next door for help.

She took my son and started CPR as other neighbours started to come to help.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard Police and Ambulance sirens in the distance.

Cars started pulling up everywhere and it all felt like a bad dream that I just had to wake up from. I was sitting with a female officer and we heard the helicopter circling waiting to land somewhere.

Jaise was revived on the scene and air lifted to John Hunter Hospital, Newcastle where he spent two days on life support.

The Doctors did lost of tests which included CT scans, MRIs, Xrays and even took him to surgery to insert a monitor into his little brain to see how much swelling he had on his brain.

After 2 days in the ICU and on full life support we were told that Jaise had suffered a hypoxic brain injury, which had left him brain dead.

 

So sadly on Wednesday September 29^th 2010 at 10.30am, Jaise left us to become an Angle in heaven.

Before we buried Jaise in QLD with just immediate family present, we had a memorial service in my home town of Orange, NSW. Over 200 people attended, including family, friends, former work mates, old school friends that travelled from afar and even people we didn’t know. It was unbelievable to see how many lives our little boy had touched in his short life.

 
 
 
Its now a year on, we would normally be happily bouncing around, looking forward to the warmer summer weather and the Christmas celebrations that approach us.

Instead, my eldest daughter is having difficulties sleeping and keeps going over the events of that tragic day in September 2010, trying to make sense of what happened.

My youngest daughter sits here at home with me and draws pictures for her little brother and talks about missing him every hour or so throughout the day.

I sit here and try to remember all the happy times we got to spend with Jaise, all the funny sayings, funny mannerisms he had and remember his smell. However, its not the same. I miss having our little ’Bear’ running around, playing cars and happily jumping around.

Since Jaise died we have been informed, by NSW Police, that the pool didn’t meet the safety standard to the rental property.

I am angry, this house was a death trap, I was on holidays visiting my relatives and this happens. I constantly wonder how anyone can live in that house after what has happened, I feel awful for what my niece and daughters saw that day.

I knew the gate was shut because I closed it myself, but they tell me the lock on it drops and didn’t catch properly. This just should not have happened. It was the owner’s responsibility to make sure it was compliant and due to this not happening, my little boy now lies in a cemetery instead of his warm bed at night.

I lost my little boy because the laws are not enforced in NSW. That is just so wrong in so many ways!

Our lives will never be the same again, my family shattered and torn apart.  I am now attending Professional counselling with my two girls which was organised by Hannah’s Foundation

It’s hard waking up every day, I expect to hear my little boy yell out ‘Mummy’ or cry during the night. Some mornings I lay there, waiting to hear him when I first wake up, then I realise, he’s gone and I will never hear that little voice call for me again. I struggle with anxiety and the flashbacks and my eldest daughter has major anxiety and is showing signs OCD.  I worry for my kids, its never going to be the same.

I get so mad and frustrated when people ask me if Jaise could swim. The answer is no. However even if he could swim, it would have made no difference. The pool was so damn cold and he would not have had the upper body strength to pull himself out of the water.

I will never forget how blue or lifeless he was and that water is etched in my mind forever. I panic if I get wet whilst fully clothed as it reminds me of that day, when I picked my son up and ran for help with him in my arms. Also if I carry anything heavy it reminds me of carrying his cold lifeless body and screaming for help.

I find that CPR Is being promoted as a bandaid for drowning and its not, its the last prevention in saving lives and I just wish that people would wake up and realise how important prevention is.